diff --git a/Gemfile b/Gemfile
index 6a89a9ea4..ea6548a8b 100644
--- a/Gemfile
+++ b/Gemfile
@@ -44,7 +44,6 @@ gem 'google-cloud-storage', require: "google/cloud/storage"
 gem 'ed25519'
 gem 'bcrypt_pbkdf' # https://github.com/net-ssh/net-ssh/issues/565
 gem 'terminal-table'
-gem 'newrelic_rpm', require: false
 gem 'clockwork'
 gem 'puma-metrics'
 gem 'puma_worker_killer'
diff --git a/Gemfile.lock b/Gemfile.lock
index d9ffae8a7..308b0f8f5 100644
--- a/Gemfile.lock
+++ b/Gemfile.lock
@@ -309,7 +309,6 @@ GEM
       digest
       net-protocol
       timeout
-    newrelic_rpm (8.5.0)
     nio4r (2.5.8)
     nokogiri (1.13.3)
       mini_portile2 (~> 2.8.0)
@@ -555,7 +554,6 @@ DEPENDENCIES
   minitest-reporters
   mocha
   mock_redis
-  newrelic_rpm
   nokogiri
   oauth2
   parallel
diff --git a/app/javascript/packs/application.js b/app/javascript/packs/application.js
index 0475e322b..3a7878da7 100644
--- a/app/javascript/packs/application.js
+++ b/app/javascript/packs/application.js
@@ -59,7 +59,6 @@ import Upload from "../src/javascripts/uploads.js";
 import UserTooltip from "../src/javascripts/user_tooltips.js";
 import Utility from "../src/javascripts/utility.js";
 import Ugoira from "../src/javascripts/ugoira.js"
-import NewRelic from "../src/javascripts/new_relic.js";
 
 let Danbooru = {};
 Danbooru.Autocomplete = Autocomplete;
@@ -87,7 +86,6 @@ Danbooru.Upload = Upload;
 Danbooru.UserTooltip = UserTooltip;
 Danbooru.Utility = Utility;
 Danbooru.Ugoira = Ugoira;
-Danbooru.NewRelic = NewRelic;
 
 Danbooru.notice = Utility.notice;
 Danbooru.error = Utility.error;
diff --git a/app/javascript/src/javascripts/new_relic.js b/app/javascript/src/javascripts/new_relic.js
deleted file mode 100644
index ac5712ed8..000000000
--- a/app/javascript/src/javascripts/new_relic.js
+++ /dev/null
@@ -1,14 +0,0 @@
-class NewRelic {
-  static initialize_all() {
-    /* https://docs.newrelic.com/docs/browser/new-relic-browser/browser-agent-spa-api/setcustomattribute-browser-agent-api/ */
-    if (typeof window.newrelic === "object") {
-      window.newrelic.setCustomAttribute("screenWidth", window.screen.width);
-      window.newrelic.setCustomAttribute("screenHeight", window.screen.height);
-      window.newrelic.setCustomAttribute("screenResolution", `${window.screen.width}x${window.screen.height}`);
-      window.newrelic.setCustomAttribute("devicePixelRatio", window.devicePixelRatio);
-    }
-  }
-}
-
-NewRelic.initialize_all();
-export default NewRelic;
diff --git a/app/logical/danbooru_logger.rb b/app/logical/danbooru_logger.rb
index 64d5a800e..51f2624d5 100644
--- a/app/logical/danbooru_logger.rb
+++ b/app/logical/danbooru_logger.rb
@@ -1,27 +1,25 @@
 # frozen_string_literal: true
 
-# The DanbooruLogger class handles logging messages to the Rails log and to NewRelic.
+# The DanbooruLogger class handles logging messages to the Rails log and to the APM.
 #
 # @see https://guides.rubyonrails.org/debugging_rails_applications.html#the-logger
-# @see https://docs.newrelic.com
 class DanbooruLogger
   HEADERS = %w[referer sec-fetch-dest sec-fetch-mode sec-fetch-site sec-fetch-user]
 
-  # Log a message to the Rails log and to NewRelic.
+  # Log a message to the Rails log and to the APM.
+  #
   # @param message [String] the message to log
   # @param params [Hash] optional key-value data to log with the message
   def self.info(message, params = {})
     Rails.logger.info(message)
 
-    if defined?(::NewRelic)
-      params = flatten_hash(params).symbolize_keys
-      ::NewRelic::Agent.record_custom_event(:info, message: message, **params)
-    end
+    params = flatten_hash(params).symbolize_keys
+    log_event(:info, message: message, **params)
   end
 
-  # Log an exception to the Rails log and to NewRelic. The `expected` flag is
+  # Log an exception to the Rails log and to the APM. The `expected` flag is
   # used to separate expected exceptions, like search timeouts or auth failures,
-  # from unexpected exceptions, like runtime errors, in the NewRelic error log.
+  # from unexpected exceptions, like runtime errors, in the error logs.
   #
   # @param message [Exception] the exception to log
   # @param expected [Boolean] whether the exception was expected
@@ -34,12 +32,10 @@ class DanbooruLogger
       Rails.logger.error("#{exception.class}: #{exception.message}\n#{backtrace}")
     end
 
-    if defined?(::NewRelic)
-      ::NewRelic::Agent.notice_error(exception, expected: expected, custom_params: params)
-    end
+    log_exception(exception, expected: expected, custom_params: params)
   end
 
-  # Log extra HTTP request data to NewRelic. Logs the user's IP, user agent,
+  # Log extra HTTP request data to the APM. Logs the user's IP, user agent,
   # request params, and session cookies.
   #
   # @param request the HTTP request
@@ -84,15 +80,18 @@ class DanbooruLogger
   def self.add_attributes(prefix, hash)
     attributes = flatten_hash(hash).transform_keys { |key| "#{prefix}.#{key}" }
     attributes.delete_if { |key, value| key.end_with?(*Rails.application.config.filter_parameters.map(&:to_s)) }
-    add_custom_attributes(attributes)
+    log_attributes(attributes)
   end
 
   private_class_method
 
-  # @see https://docs.newrelic.com/docs/using-new-relic/data/customize-data/collect-custom-attributes/#ruby-att
-  def self.add_custom_attributes(attributes)
-    return unless defined?(::NewRelic)
-    ::NewRelic::Agent.add_custom_attributes(attributes)
+  def self.log_attributes(attributes)
+  end
+
+  def self.log_exception(exception, expected: false, custom_params: {})
+  end
+
+  def self.log_event(level, message: nil, **params)
   end
 
   # flatten_hash({ foo: { bar: { baz: 42 } } })
diff --git a/app/views/layouts/blank.html.erb b/app/views/layouts/blank.html.erb
index 8073e813c..068a77491 100644
--- a/app/views/layouts/blank.html.erb
+++ b/app/views/layouts/blank.html.erb
@@ -1,7 +1,6 @@
 <!doctype html>
 <html lang="en">
 <head>
-  <%= NewRelic::Agent.browser_timing_header rescue "" %>
   <meta charset="utf-8">
   <title><%= page_title %></title>
   <link rel="icon" href="/favicon.ico" sizes="16x16" type="image/x-icon">
diff --git a/app/views/layouts/default.html.erb b/app/views/layouts/default.html.erb
index 5c45e848c..3c69dc1da 100644
--- a/app/views/layouts/default.html.erb
+++ b/app/views/layouts/default.html.erb
@@ -1,7 +1,6 @@
 <!doctype html>
 <html lang="en">
 <head>
-  <%= NewRelic::Agent.browser_timing_header rescue "" %>
   <meta charset="utf-8">
   <title><%= page_title %></title>
 
diff --git a/config/application.rb b/config/application.rb
index 34fabadbb..4279acfdc 100644
--- a/config/application.rb
+++ b/config/application.rb
@@ -49,9 +49,9 @@ module Danbooru
     config.active_record.schema_format = :sql
     config.encoding = "utf-8"
 
-    # Hide sensitive model attributes and request params in exception messages,
-    # log files, and in NewRelic. These are substring matches, so they match
-    # any attribute or request param containing the word 'password' etc.
+    # Hide sensitive model attributes and request params in exception messages
+    # and logs. These are substring matches, so they match any attribute or
+    # request param containing the word 'password' etc.
     #
     # https://guides.rubyonrails.org/configuring.html#config-filter-parameters
     config.filter_parameters += [:password, :api_key, :secret, :ip_addr, :address, :email_verification_key, :signed_user_id] if Rails.env.production?
diff --git a/config/danbooru_default_config.rb b/config/danbooru_default_config.rb
index 681df04e2..68b3c8333 100644
--- a/config/danbooru_default_config.rb
+++ b/config/danbooru_default_config.rb
@@ -547,12 +547,6 @@ module Danbooru
       # "redis://localhost:6379"
     end
 
-    # Optional. The license key for your New Relic account.
-    # https://newrelic.com/
-    # https://docs.newrelic.com/docs/accounts/accounts-billing/account-setup/new-relic-license-key/
-    def new_relic_license_key
-    end
-
     # True if the Winter Sale is active.
     def is_promotion?
       false
diff --git a/config/initializers/00_newrelic.rb b/config/initializers/00_newrelic.rb
deleted file mode 100644
index 167921a64..000000000
--- a/config/initializers/00_newrelic.rb
+++ /dev/null
@@ -1,15 +0,0 @@
-if Danbooru.config.new_relic_license_key.present?
-  require "new_relic/control"
-
-  # https://github.com/newrelic/newrelic-ruby-agent/blob/1ef4082fe97fd19aeccb3f392a44ef3becae66d3/lib/newrelic_rpm.rb#L40
-  # https://github.com/newrelic/newrelic-ruby-agent/blob/1ef4082fe97fd19aeccb3f392a44ef3becae66d3/lib/new_relic/agent.rb#L349
-  NewRelic::Control.instance.init_plugin(
-    app_name: Danbooru.config.canonical_app_name,
-    license_key: Danbooru.config.new_relic_license_key,
-    log_level: Danbooru.config.debug_mode ? "debug" : "error",
-    #log: Rails.logger,
-    "rake.tasks": ["maintenance:.*"],
-    "browser_monitoring.auto_instrument": false,
-    config: Rails.application.config,
-  )
-end
diff --git a/lib/tasks/danbooru.rake b/lib/tasks/danbooru.rake
index c425bb23a..f6d7e605a 100644
--- a/lib/tasks/danbooru.rake
+++ b/lib/tasks/danbooru.rake
@@ -1,6 +1,3 @@
-require "newrelic_rpm"
-require "tasks/newrelic"
-
 # This file contains commands for running various routine maintenance tasks on
 # a Danbooru instance. Run `bin/rails -T` to see a list of all available tasks.
 #